I Will Not Be Broken: Five Steps to Overcoming a Life Crisis
by Jerry White
Copies of I Will Not Be Broken Now Available Online and at Stores Nationwide
Leveraging
personal experience and a lifetime of wisdom, landmine survivor Jerry
White outlines a very specific five-step program to coping with
disaster; to achieving strength and hope; and to turning tragedy into
triumph
News Facts
About I Will Not Be Broken, a Book by Jerry White
From a leader of the Nobel Peace Prize-winning movement to ban landmines and founder of Survivor Corps
comes an astoundingly effective guide to recreating a happy and
fulfilling life after catastrophe strikes—a book that Bob and Lee
Woodruff call “a road map for the individual and their family to
re-enter the land of the living.” In I WILL NOT BE BROKEN, Jerry White reframes the question “why do bad things happen to good people?” and asks, given that bad things do happen, how do people absorb the blows and move through them?
Tragedy
happens to everyone. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a painful
divorce, or a serious injury, we all face unavoidable moments that
divide our lives into “before” and “after.” These events take a heavy
toll on everyone, but there are those who have muscled their way
through tough times and emerged stronger, wiser—even grateful for their
struggle. Jerry White is one such example. In 1984, he lost his
leg—and almost his life—in a landmine accident, and has personally
endured the pain of loss and the challenge of rebuilding.
As co-founder of Survivor Corps, White has connected with thousands of victims of tragedy, and in I WILL NOT BE BROKEN, he shares their collective wisdom, which he distills into an effective five-step program for turning tragedy into triumph:
Face facts
Choose life
Reach out
Get moving
Give back
In
their own words, his fellow survivors share their stories—a group that
includes the well known like Lance Armstrong, Elie Wiesel, and the late
Princess Diana, but also everyday people including soldiers and
veterans of the military. With compassion, White takes readers through
the process of not only enduring tragedy and victimhood, but going on
to thrive.
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Reviews and Testimonials
"In
I Will Not Be Broken, Jerry White brings his insight and experience to
bear expertly for those facing life's unexpected challenges. He
embodies the spirit of survivorship."
Lance Armstrong, co-author of Every Second Counts
"Jerry
White has written an amazingly poignant book. But it does more than
capture the collective experience of enduring a tragedy. It provides a
road map for the individual and their family to put one foot in front
of the other and re-enter the land of the living. This book will be a
remarkable tool especially for the many military families impacted by
the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq."
Bob and Lee Woodruff, authors of In an Instant
"We
can choose happiness, even after the worst of times. Jerry White
offers an excellent guide to navigating and overcoming the traumas we
face in our lives."
Deepak Chopra M.D., author of Buddha: A Story of Enlightenment
"This
is an important book. Jerry White shares lessons learned from his
experience recovering from a landmine accident to help trauma victims
recover, survive, and thrive."
Jane Goodall, author of Harvest for Hope
"Offers
wise, practical, and inspiring steps to come back from life's worst
setbacks. Jerry White speaks with compassion and authority—and an
abundance of emotional intelligence.”
Daniel Goleman, author of Social Intelligence
"I
have visited landmine survivors around the world with Jerry White. I
have seen him reach out to others and walk with them on the path from
victim to survivor. His courageous personal experience is a beacon for
all who are searching to recover and reclaim life."
Her Majesty Queen Noor of Jordan, author of Leap of Faith: Memoirs of an Unexpected Life
"The
tank and guns on Tiananmen Square crushed the hopes of a generation.
But many refused to stay victims. We find new ways to find new hope.
When I met Jerry White, I instantly recognized a fellow survivor who
understands what it takes to overcome obstacles to hope. This book
will inspire."
Li Lu, Deputy Commander Tiananmen Square
About Jerry White
Jerry White
is a global survivor activist who has dedicated his life to helping
victims of violent conflict. While camping in Northern Israel in 1984,
he stepped on a landmine, and he spent nearly six months in Israeli
hospitals learning to walk on an artificial leg. Since then, he has
become a recognized leader of the historic International Campaign to
Ban Landmines (winner of the 1997 Nobel Peace Prize), and a co-founder
of Survivor Corps. He has testified before the US Congress and the
United Nations and appeared in hundreds of media interviews and
profiles.
The Five Steps of I Will Not Be Broken
1. Face Facts.
One must first accept the harsh reality about suffering and loss,
however brutal. “This terrible thing has happened. It can’t be changed.
I can’t rewind the clock. My family still needs me. So now what?”
2. Choose Life.
That is, “I want to say yes to the future. I want my life to go on in a
positive way.” Seizing life, not surrendering to death or stagnation,
requires letting go of resentments and looking forward, not back. It
can be a daily decision.
3. Reach Out.
One must find peers, friends, and family to break the isolation and
loneliness that come in the aftermath of crisis. Seek empathy, not
pity, from people who have been through something similar. Let the
people in your life into your life. “It’s up to me to reach for someone’s hand.”
4. Get Moving.
Sitting back gets you nowhere. One must get out of bed and out of the
house to generate momentum. We have to take responsibility for our
actions. “How do I want to live the rest of my life? What steps can I
take today?”
5. Give Back.
Thriving, not just surviving, requires the capacity to give again,
through service and acts of kindness. “How can I be an asset to those
around me, and not a drain? Will I ever feel grateful again?” Yes, and
by sharing your experience and talents, you will inspire others to do
the same.
Various Excerpts From I Will Not Be Broken
On Strength:
"They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. It’s not quite that
simple. I believe you have to decide it will make you stronger.
Experience has taught me that happy endings can never be taken for
granted. They must be chosen."
On Surviving and Recovery:
"We are surrounded by survivors who have gone before us, and their
examples will help mark the way forward. Their experiences show us
that, with the right support, everyone can recover and thrive. As we
overcome hardship, there is laughter and hope and love waiting for each
of us. But it is crucial for us to want those things."
Growing Stronger from Crisis:
"Is there really a way to grow stronger in crisis? You bet there is. I
am convinced we not only can toughen under pressure, but also soar.
Why? Because I did. And I have watched thousands of others transform
tragedy into growth."
The Bell Tolls for Everyone:
"Because life will happen to all of us. Violence and terror can be
visited upon just about anybody these days. Life explodes, and nothing
is ever quite the same. I’m not just referring to a personal injury or
illness, but also to the world where headlines of terrorism, violence,
and natural disaster assault us with increasing frequency. Some of us
seek consolation in the belief that tragedy is happening somewhere
else, far away. But, eventually, the bell tolls for you."

How to Move Forward After Tragedy:
"I hope my story, and those of friends I’ve met around the world, will
flicker light in the dark tunnel where too many people feel trapped in
pain. Even better, the survivor stories in these pages can teach all of
us about moving forward. All of us need to learn to manage life’s
explosive moments. Life may change in an instant, like mine did in
Israel, but instead of dreading them, I want to encourage all of us to
honor our toughest dates—the tragedies that bind us—in an effort to
transform victimhood into survivorship."
Moving from Victimhood to Survivorship to Thriving:
"Over the past twenty years, I have met and talked ‘survival’ with
everyone from the famous—Diana, Princess of Wales, Elie Wiesel, King
Hussein and Queen Noor of Jordan, John McCain, His Holiness the Dalai
Lama, Lance Armstrong—and the not so famous but equally strong—Katie,
Ken, Elizabeth, Colleen and others. Each has something to teach us.
They don’t just get by. They thrive. That’s what I aspire to do."
The Path to Survival:
"This book illuminates the path to survival—five steps that can guide a
person from tragedy toward a new life of renewed purpose and hope. The
steps are not always sequential; they can be taken simultaneously. They
can also spiral, skip and repeat. Survivorship is different for each
individual. But anyone who has overcome adversity and learned to thrive
has come to understand the power of each step."
Princess Diana on Survivorship:
"Princess Diana understood that to survive means to endure something
that could have killed you or 'taken you down.' Like the loss of a son
or daughter. Like stepping on a landmine. These are experiences
terrible and terrifying. Such trauma presents a threshold. The outcome,
positive or negative, is not pre-ordained. We can do things to foster
resilience and strength going forward. Can you recall your date? Your
own before-and-after moment, when life is cut in two by horrible pain
or shocking news?"
Facing the Facts to Move Forward: "This
terrible thing has happened. It can’t be changed. So, now what? There’s
little point wishing you hadn’t gotten into that car, or gotten the
tumor, or been fired from that job. We must face some brutal facts of
the here and now. It’s normal to question, but you will never get a
satisfactory answer, and you’ll only waste time. The past is the past,
and facts are facts."
Your Emotions are Facts: "Emotions
are facts too. But it is quite common to deny the initial experience.
This is not happening to me. I will wake up from this nightmare soon.
It is also quite common to feel the most intense range of emotions
after a loss or crisis."
How to Survive a Catastrophe:
"How can we use the facts that confront us with unpleasant truth to
help us survive catastrophe? Facing facts is so hard because it demands
that we come to grips with our worst fears. It means admitting what we
really think about disability, deformity and death—all scary stuff.
Most of us would prefer to look away and carry on our merry way without
thinking about these things. But without a closer look in the mirror,
examining the wrinkles of our traumatized life, we can’t make sound
decisions, and then proceed to change and grow."
On Crisis and Pain:
"Crisis and pain can hold us hostage for a time, but we still have a
choice in how we will respond to our circumstances, no matter how dire.
When something disrupts our life, how do we move forward? I’ve seen it
time and time again in my work with victims of war atrocities—there are
those who fight for their lives after devastating loss and those who
succumb to their suffering. Why the difference? To truly thrive, we
must consciously choose for our lives to go on in a positive way. I
have had to do it more than once. Most of us have, or will."
Choose Life:
"By choosing life we step across the second threshold of survivorship.
It may be one of the hardest steps. It requires imagination and
perspective in the midst of pain. It comes on the heels of brutal facts
and a long look in the mirror to see who we are and where we stand. How
do you choose your way forward with scars and bitter memories? You
don’t let your situation define you. You reframe how to think about it.
You choose humor and connections and love—you choose to live. One of
the essential ways we start to embrace life is by reaching out to
others."
It Takes a Village to Survive:
"No one survives on their own, and no one thrives alone either. Yes,
you might feel an excruciating loneliness after one of life’s hurtful
blows. But we are simply not built to survive solo. Isolation will kill
us, not protect us. We humans are social animals made for community.
Even when family and friends annoy the hell out of us, they remain an
essential part of our survivorship."
Calling to God and to Faith:
"Sometimes it feels as if we have no instruments, we have no leader, we
have nothing. That’s when many of us call out to God. For many it takes
a crisis, but in our darkest moments, most of us will reach out
spiritually. It’s a cry for divine help. We need someone—anyone—out
there to understand. Our prayers reflect an existential plea for
empathy in the universe. I believe this is a great and useful thing. I
can’t encourage people enough to pray, and then pray some more. Call
out. Reach out. Your questions and search for meaning are enormously
important. They reflect a desire to Choose Life and Reach Out
simultaneously. Whatever you believe, religion can offer a positive
source of social and spiritual oxygen."
On John McCain:
"I am always impressed by the strong bond among veterans, including
well-known American prisoners of war in Vietnam such as John McCain.
Their military code of conduct inculcates an attitude of mutual
survival, with duty to country and to family. When I first met Senator
McCain over lunch in the Senate dining room, I was immediately struck
by his stubborn survivor spirit. McCain credits his five-plus years of
perseverance in the face of torture to his sense of duty to and
camaraderie with his fellow navy men and prisoners, and a sense of
honor instilled in him by the military careers and character of his
father and grandfather."
Surviving and Thriving: "There
is a difference between surviving and thriving. Thriving requires
tapping into our gratitude and drawing on this well to give to others.
Studies on gratitude and giving are starting to proliferate. Why?
Because people are catching on to the secret of happiness—giving, not
getting. It turns out that by giving we end up getting as well. It’s a
loop. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, 'It is one of the most beautiful
compensations of life that no man can sincerely try to help another
without helping himself.'"
We Benefit from Community:
"We benefit from belonging, from contributing to a bigger thing called
community. We all have a role, with talents and gifts to deploy. Each
act of generosity seeds good will. Even by listening to another person
tell their tale of woe—thereby affirming their path—you can help build
community. Each of us is born with talents and gifts. And they are
meant to be deployed, not for simple survival, but for the good of the
community. A body is also a metaphor for community, and if any one part
is hurting, the whole body is weak. We need to shore each other up and
make sure we acknowledge with appreciation people who pray, forgive,
connect the unconnected, and serve the more vulnerable among us."
On Victimhood and Surviving:
"Why do some people stay victims? Well, it’s strangely comfortable—a
kind of defense mechanism after disaster strikes. We welcome sympathy
in our hour of need. And then we invite it. Eventually, we must break
the victim habit and resume taking full responsibility for our future."
Survivors are Everyday People:
"I’m here to tell you that survivors are everyday people in the car
next to you, behind you in the grocery store, next door mowing the
lawn. I meet these people everywhere, from every walk of life, on every
continent. I only wish I could share more of their stories. I hope
their examples will teach and inspire you to want to thrive. Just
think: if someone can overcome that level of crisis or abuse, then
maybe I can hang in there too, just long enough to get through my
crisis."
Life Experiences Nourish Us:
"Life experience will nourish and make us stronger. For example,
studies of emergency personnel indicate that having survived one
traumatic experience increases resilience and, in a sense, inoculates
workers who will face subsequent traumas at work. Most of us can point
to early life experiences that afford us at least some practice in
building resilience."
Survivors can Survive Anything:
"Josephine Hart observed, “Damaged people are dangerous. They know they
can survive.” Every time we come through tough times, we should feel
some sense of pride and achievement. After all, getting through the
experience may have been the hardest thing we’ve ever done. And we
might be surprised to discover an inner voice and competitive spirit
coaching us: I refuse to be taken out by what happened to me. I will
not be defeated by this. I still believe in the possibility of the
future. Even when our loss is the death of a beloved, and we may not
feel like going on without them, we still honor their memory by healing
and living strong."
Empathy Etiquette:
"What do survivors say has been helpful during their tough times? I
call it “empathy etiquette”—the way to support survivors in crisis by
putting yourselves in their shoes. The good news is we can learn
empathy etiquette, much like we can learn resilience. When we are going
through something for the first time, neither we nor our friends know
exactly how to behave. Nothing seems normal or real in a
life-threatening storm."
On Reading People in Need:
"Just be ready to pick up on the hints people in crisis my give as to
what is needed at any particular time. Try to make it about that person
and not your own hang-ups or past traumas. Maybe your friend wants you
to come by every day. Maybe it’s just once a week. You must assess and
reassess the situation. Be open. Be kind. Bring food. Then run the
vacuum and wipe down the kitchen counters after putting the leftovers
away in the fridge."
Grace is a Key to Surviving:
"I think grace, in part, is what allows survivors to bring meaning to
our stories. It’s available to all of us—moments of awakening. Without
meaning, you may survive, but you will never inspire. And without
meaning, you cannot ultimately thrive. Finding meaning in our lives is
a way to dispel darkness and break through the barriers that imprison
us."
On Heroism and Being a Hero:
"We don’t always have to look for larger-than-life heroes. We can be
heroes for each other. We are just ordinary folk wanting to endure and
live life well, even during the rough patches. But we can all benefit
from role models who not only overcome adversity, but find the
wherewithal to give back and serve the broader community. This is how
we complete the cycle of survivorship, transforming our tragedy and
blessing others in the process."
Heroes Don't Call Themselves Heroes:
"None of the survivors interviewed in this book would call themselves
heroes, or particularly courageous, for that matter. They simply did
what they had to do."
Thrivers Are All Around Us:
"Thrivers are all around us, not distant in history or geography. They
are most often applied optimists. Pessimists can also thrive, but they
have to work a bit harder to push through their tendency toward
negativity. Similarly, introverts sometimes find it harder to thrive
than extroverts, given the need to reach out for support during and
after a crisis. The key is to know yourself so you can work with or
compensate for your natural tendencies."
Final Words On The Five Steps:
"The Five Steps on our survivor journey offer a way not just to
recover, not just to survive, but to thrive. Step by step, we find
power to convert our dates—the days that change us—to become more than
we were before the illness or the accident. We understand survivorship
is anything but linear: it’s a process that involves three steps
forward, a flashback or two, and then a leap ahead. Each of us is a
mixed breed of survivor and victim. Some days we can exhibit healthy
survivor behavior and then reveal less attractive victim behavior the
next. No one is perfectly resilient or consistent. But we progress, day
by day, step by step, if we want."
About Survivor Corps
Around
the globe, people are inflicting harm on one another on an alarming
scale with alarming ease. There were approximately 250 wars throughout
the 20th century. Today, there are more than 39 conflicts raging in the
world –from armed conflicts in Latin America to the wars in Iraq and
Afghanistan to genocide in Darfur.
More than 35 million people
have been displaced from these conflicts—innocent people who have been
robbed of their dignity, their homes and their livelihoods. With no
hope or tools to rise above their circumstances, far too many victims
lash out, seeking revenge for their plight and perpetuating the cycle
of violence and suffering. Something has to be done to break this
downward spiral.
Survivor Corps operates under the credo that no
one is better equipped to change the world than those who have been
most scarred by what’s wrong with it. There is a way to break the cycle
of violence, and it begins with showing survivors a new, more hopeful
way forward.
What is the Survivor Corps philosophy? No one is better equipped to change the world than those most scarred by what’s wrong with it.
Whom does Survivor Corps you serve? We
serve people who have been injured by global conflict, primarily
through training and support of the organizations that serve conflict
survivors at the local level.
Where does Survivor Corps work? Wherever communities are experiencing or recovering from conflict – currently in over 50 countries.
Why should I support Survivor Corps?
We have a ten-year track record of results, improving health, creating
economic opportunity, and changing laws & policies for survivors of
conflict.
How does Survivor Corp work? We work across the spectrum of issues and organizations that affect the lives of survivors.
Can Survivor Corps really solve this problem? Yes. We believe that by showing survivors a new, more hopeful way forward, we can help break the cycle of violence.
Survivor
Corps provides the tools and support survivors need to rise above their
injuries and give back to their communities. Learn more at http://www.survivorcorps.org
For more information about Survivor Corps, visit: http://survivorcorps.smnr.us
Contacts
For Press Inquiries:
Contact Daniel Krueger at dkrueger@survivorcorps.org
For More Information:
Contact Elizabeth Miner
eminer@landminesurvivors.org
202-250-3929
2100 M St. NW, Suite 302
Washington, DC 20037
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